A small portion of Today’s State-run Media Report, Courtesy of ABC/Obama News

…This afternoon, in an exclusive investigative report, George Stephanopolous will actually accompany the First Daughters to the movies, reporting everything they say (and, more important, everything they mean) about “Up.”  Be ready for some real balloon popping on that one.

Later, get this all you gals out there, Diane Sawyer – yes, the Diane Sawyer, our very own Diane Sawyer, will go make-up shopping with the First Lady of Fashion, Michelle Obama.  I can’t wait for that; I just can’t.  I’m getting tingles already.

Following up on his remarkable fly-killing skill shown on that other network, President Obama has promised a repeat performance for us – but this time he’s going to make it more exciting by grabbing a wasp!  Those little suckers can sting!  Talk about courage; talk about charisma.  Is this guy the whole package or what?

Now, as promised we’re going to talk to the President of the United States about health care.  See, we’re walking into the Oval Office, spotless and clean, almost as big as our network headquarters right down the hall, where we are provided with our own White House staff, just to make sure all of our stories are completely accurate…

Read the rest at the link.