From satirist Scott Ott:  Obama: American Muslims, Jews Work to Make U.S. No. 1

After announcing that the United States is “one of the largest Muslim countries in the world“, with an Islamic population soon to overtake number 50 (Mauritania), President Barack Obama today boasted that the U.S. is also the second largest Jewish nation on earth, “and moving up fast”.

“Only Israel has more Jews than us,” said President Obama. “and we’re catching up. Like our productive American Muslims, our Jews are working hard to make us number one in the world.”

The president said his administration would soon unveil a “religious stimulus proposal” designed to make the U.S. the largest Hindu nation on earth, as well as to overcome “the shocking Buddhist deficit and the shameful dearth of Taoists.”

The president’s plan will promote increased immigration of under-represented religious devotees from nations that have a surplus.

Funding for marketing and transportation will come from a modest tax on the weekly offerings of Christian churches, “since followers of Jesus are relatively plentiful and wealthy.”