That $410 billion appropriations bill, the one that was delayed to protect it from former President Bush’s veto pen, is still in the Senate.  The last I read, it’s supposed to be voted on Monday.  That’s the one that has around 8,500 earmarks in it.

We’ve heard a lot about all the pork in it.  But, like Rahm Emanuel and Hillary Clinton say, look at it as an opportunity:  Help Wanted: How You, Too, Can Profit from Pork and Earmarks

But the bill is ever so much more than that.  It is chockablock full of jobs that represent the sweep, swoop and economic diversity of this great innovative country, or, at least, the demented innovative chicanery of your duly-elected federal officials.

Why, there’s $1.6 million to the Washington State Department of Ecology for “citizen-driven environmental protection.”  Don’t you want to be Director of that?  Never mind that the federal government is paying for something that Washington State should pay for, if its citizens want it, or why it should cost taxpayer money for a “citizen-driven” project.

How picky.  Don’t you realize it’s for somebody’s children?  A caveat:

We also must caution job seekers that the primary purpose of pork and earmarks is to reward supporters and special pleaders, so most of the jobs, whether they be in “Future Foods” or the “Iowa Vitality Center” or the “National Council of La Raza” are undoubtedly already committed.  In addition, in the world of political patronage, it is not unknown for job holders to find it necessary to make certain “tributes.”

Only professional beggars need apply.  Hardly the future to which most Americans aspire.